2am

  It was 2:00am and I was walking down A street between S and Y. It was completely silent, there was nobody. And I was alone, and then you tapped me on the shoulder. I wanted to run away and not look, I wanted to ignore you  but it had been such a long time. So I turned around, when I did you didn't recognize me, I could see it in your eyes, and as fast as I blinked, you were gone. This had never happened before. 

All the hope I had, I was going to explain everything to you, and  this time you would stay. It was gone, you were gone.  So I kept going because most of the time you don't turn up and I can put you out of my mind. The loop is easier when you're not in it. 

As I walked up my steps I saw you in the second floor window, but by the time I got there you were asleep, in my bed like it was the norm, how it used to be. When you woke up I was sitting next to you. You looked at me, and instead of confusion, there was recognition. You began to ask me a question, then you stopped and you looked at me and all the recognition had left your eyes, "Do I know you?"  you asked. It was like you were different person, you knew nothing. "You stopped me on the street remember,"  I said, "you know me. I have a lot to ask you. I have a lot to tell you, please don't leave yet." each word had less confidence then the last, I sounded so desperate.

Then you got up and walked away, and I let you because I knew that if this went no where It would be okay. And so I waited but you were gone for a while so I went looking, I walked down the long dark hallways, I did not turn on a single light. I called your name but you did not answer me. When I turned around to go back to my room, you where there, in front of me, and you grabbed me, And there it was again, that recognition like we had known each other forever. "I like A street at that time, everyone is gone and its just me, and I can do whatever I want. Then you where there, its been ages, don't you know how long I've been looking?" 

You didn't  remembered, who I was, who you were. But I remember, I know what happens every time and I never say anything because I never know what to say or how to say it. You're so blissfully unaware of what happened. You don't know how I suffer because I am the only one who has to live out the loop, over and over and you are the worst part of it.

Then you walked away, and I cried because I knew what was going to happen next. What always happens next. I followed you into my room, and you were asleep. And so I joined you, and we slept. And when I woke, it was 2:00am and I was walking down A street between S and Y.

Alexandra Ruffins
Age 16, Grade 11,
Fiorello H Laguardia High School of Music
Gold Key

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